Caitlin hates Oprah



Tracy (rt) with eccentric Designer Isaac Vanderflugen -
 Get a load of Tracy's shoulders



When my level one, Tracy Vines bought milkshakes for everyone at the KFC store she managed in the 90's in order to bribe them to wear their hairnets, I was a little caught off guard, I mean couldn't she just yell at them and make them do what she wanted? Then I realized two things: 1) Tracy is not the yelling type except for when she is in yoga practice, or training a client (http://www.fitnessfreaks.ca/) - hold in the anger Fraggle Rock, hold it in. & 2) Tracy knew how to get what she wanted out of her staff with little or no agrivation, even if it did cost her ten dablooms.

Living in the hallway behind the main stage with all the musicians, dancers, techs, and singers, sometimes leaves a lot to be desired. Sometimes, it feels as if I am on Survivor or Big Brother, only there is no ballet to cast, no key to turn. Because I do not drink often, you can usually find me in my room either watching TV or watching a movie, or sleeping, if I'm lucky maybe downward dog, maybe doing some sort of administration stuff...mmm...alright I never do administration stuff in my cabin, but sometimes I will be scrapbook or making ribbon roses which takes the greatest of concentration the point is, I am always busy and filling my free time with productive activities. So it may come as a surprise that the entertainment department is known throughout the fleet as being the most obnoxious, shallow, loudest, drunkest (save for the philipino bar waiters, they can out drink a fish) and it could be becuase every formal night around 3am I am woken up by banging, yelling voices, and generally college age conversation.

for example:

"Oh my gawd Caitlin I love you, you are so pretty"

"Shut up right now, Aleshia, you are so much prettier, and your boyfriend Kyle is soooooo hot to, but i'm not after him I swear"

"s'okay, love is good, love is great, I love, love. I love Oprah."

"I hate Oprah"

"Omigod Caity you can't hate Oprah, that's like sac relig"

"No, I love Oprah, sorry I thought you said Chuck Norris"

"Caitlin I'm so fat, do these pants make my ass look fat"

"No Aleshia, your fat ass makes your ass look fat"

"I hate you!"

"I want Dunkin Donuts"

"Me too"

Too many nights I am woken from my slumber to the sounds of giddy drunk girls or guys who are bellowing out the russian national anthem. Often times I wrestle with the fact that I should call Raymond from security but then I would be labeled as uncool, and there is no way I am repeating highschool!

Meanwhile at the Disco, DJ Bernard is dealing with a pretty rowdy crowd. A male passenger has punched another male passenger after he saw him looking at his wife. Physical violence is pretty rare on the ships, although on the occasions that it does happen, it is taken very seriously. The entire security department shows up as well as the Guest Service Manager. DJ Bernard is a pretty laid back dude from Trinidad & Tabago but when his dance floor becomes empty for any reason such as a punching match between two yahoo's he goes balistic. As security clears the men from the Disco for a long night filling out reports and reviewing security video, Bernard, tries to get the party going again by playing anything but Air Supply.

Up in Jen's cabin the Macedonian's snoring is keeping her awake. She's too tired to shop ebay, but to awake to shut her eyes. She ends up watching some criminal minds, only to find out that I took the disc from the player so i could watch it in my cabin in between rose making.

The next morning I get an early morning call from Jen who demands I bring back criminal minds, I could sense she is a little miffed so I head out to bring the disc back to her but before I go to her cabin I make a pitstop at the coffee bar to buy a milkshake.