Waking up this morning with a phone call from friend and founder of Viscount Maritime (see side bar) was a very pleasant way to start the morning. Even if it was at 5am.
The fact that I fell asleep last night immediately after I phoned my mom had no bearing on how tired I was this morning. And as a side note can I just ask how many of my followers (of my blog) actually use the luggage stands in their hotel rooms? Bloody hell, every time I am at a hotel (which has been three times in the last week) my mom calls and tells me to make sure not to put my luggage on the bed on account of the bed bugs. This goes back to a special report ABC ran on the news magazine program 20/20 where they had a group of microbiologists discover how dirty hotel rooms were. Now I might add that this 20/20 special aired when Hugh Downs co-hosted with Bawbwa Walters and if you don’t recall Hugh Downs on 20/20 or have no clue who he is, my point is proven! - I love you mom. Sorry I could not call today, like promised, you’re my number 1 gal, but with all due respect, the hotel accommodations are not that shabby for Mr. Calvyn.
Kelly’s early morning phone call got me in the shower, and after tentatively planning a trip to London where she resides during my mandatory reprieve from European cruising I am even more exciting for my Italiano adventure.
As I was coming out of the…shower, the hotel phone was ringing and it was Kris from the Miami office. He asked me to come in and hang out until my flight. Seeing that I have never been to the office I thought it a good opportunity to meet the beards and leave them with a good impression. So equipped with black and white head shots of myself that included my bio on the back, I left the hotel room for a little bit of office space.
{Alright, I have to tell you that right now I am in the airport drinking Coors Light at a bar and sitting next to me is my Aunt Josephine Violet’s twin. She keeps looking at me weird because every time I look over at her I automatically lift my feet in the air thinking that she is going to run a vacuum under my chair – Josephine Violet (whose nickname is buttons – butts for short) was the first desperate housewife and used to vacuum four times a day and heaven forbid your clothes had lint}
As I came into the office Kris galloped to greet me with a resounding hug and promptly ushered me into the office of KC the VP of Entertainment and a few other VIP. Caught off guard I became my signature awkward self and immediately shook their hands and said “How excited are you to meet me right now, I am sure you have heard A LOT about me!” They shared chuckle and that’s when I should have sat down, but why would I do the normal, socially responsible thing? Instead I proceeded to hand out my B&W head shots of me after I signed them with the sharpie that was sitting on his desk!!!! They didn’t know what to do and there was a bit of an awkward silence (as there should have been as they are normal people living in the real world void of blue belles, glitter rainbows, and unicorns) so trying to recover I said “Don’t mind me, I’m a result of not having a dad who enforced sports…well unless you call synchronized swimming a sport!” having a deep chuckle, both important men asked me how the rope course was and the rest is history as my awkward veil had lifted and we had a great chat about everything under the sun.
Eventually it was my time to leave and head to the airport. My cab driver and I had a peaceful discussion about Jesus Christ and after buying Tina Fey’s book and a few magazines, I am ready to say good bye to North America and hello to the land of Spaghetti and ice cream, and as they say in Italy, Chow Amigo!... ‘sigh’ they’re gonna hate me over there!
[Mom please read no further: Alright, I came within 30 seconds of missing my flight. I am safely in the air right now, but hokey dina. I could have sworn the girl at the counter said 5:30, not 4:30… good thing I left the pub when I did… alright the girl in the row across from me is a 12 year old version of my level one friend Jayne Rae Saretsky only this girl has braces… bless her heart… anyway, 4 beer and bored. I am kinda embarrassed for being the last one onboard, but I think I will give all the flight attendants a B&W photo of me… good thing I swiped the sharpie!}
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